August has blended into September and this weekend is October. My true apologies for the lack of post. Needless to say my life has been slightly chaotic. August brought a lot of good and bad. I found an amazing guy in Austin who I spoke to pretty much all day everyday for must of the month. He thought I was an amazing person, who was beautiful on the inside and out. Even to go and suggest for me to move up there, and we all know I can’t do that – my kid, my job, only to end things due to distance. School started with a full bang, Statistics and Chemistry are a modern for of torture. Then I had surgery, a long overdue fixer to my nose. No I didn’t get a nose job, it wasn’t a plastic surgery procedure. I got a Septoplasty, aka I had a horribly deviated septum and they fixed it. To then get into a horrible fight with a person who not only do I love and care about but trust more than anyone. Needless to say the things this person said to me resonate in my mind, which is why I have no words for them.
September, what can I say, you have been interesting. Between love, work and school you have tossed me in a blender and have spit me out. My boy turned five but I feel like he is just so old now. A ghost that sets fire to everything came back, with just words and lack of action. Talkin to the man we will call Eifel, was pretty good – well while it lasted. The date we had could be categorized as blissful. Only then to get ghosted by him. What is wrong with the modern guy!! I mean really – what do you expect from a good relationship?? No good chemistry ??? or No good conversation??? Because let me tell you, you need both to get thru life. If lack one or the other, it will surely fail! I will bet money on that anyday. Of course I didn’t get to see the Kusama installation and I miss going to see the Monet Water Lilies at the MFAH, all because I get stuck in doing endless hours of homework. Which will continue after I finish this post.
My daddy turns 70 tomorrow, and secretly I am happy that my parents house couldn’t sell. They have decided to stay and just wing it. Which means that the fear of being alone can be extinguished and the worry can leave. Now if I could just get my economic state of emergency under control, things would be amazing. I do have to tell you what go me writing today, were the events of last night. My ghost actually came to see me, and when I saw him I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I literally thought I was going to die. The said the words ” you are so beautiful” and “I bet you are a really good mom” and repeatedly called me a sweety. Unfortunately nothing will fix the fact that we will never be together, he plans to move away soon – of course another one that wants to flee from me. I am just happy for the small slivers of time we have together. I guess it is god’s way of showing me that this is what I deserve and what I need to look for. I leave you with my current jam, it is kinda perfect.
XOXO
Ana
Welcome to your life, yeah, yeah
It could be a fantasy, yeah, yeah
Welcome to your world, my girl
Let it be your fantasy, oh yeah
Everyday Banana 